


Unconventional Gifts

by barrisscoffees



Series: Harlivy Week 2020 [1]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: F/F, fuckin ao3, harlivy - Freeform, harlivyweek2020, i have literally typed these THREE times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barrisscoffees/pseuds/barrisscoffees
Summary: Harley's gifts are always the best... if unconventional
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Harlivy Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874503
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	Unconventional Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Harlivy Week! Day 1 - BTAS. Thanks to Diana for arranging this whole thing! (there is a high probability I will change the name of this at some point bc yikes).

“Re-ed.” Harley’s voice echoed through the empty halls of the chemical plant. Pam jerked in surprise and sent a test tube flying. She swore under her breath. Leave it to Harley to ruin three weeks of work in three seconds. “I got you a present!”

Glancing at the shards of glass wobbling in a pool of translucent green liquid, Pam sighed. No use in getting mad now; she spun in her chair to face the door to her lab.

“Harley, you know how I feel about consumerism and its impacts on the environment.” Harley’s laugh echoed from around the corner.

“Of course I do, sweetpea! That’s I got you…” Harley peeked her head around the doorframe with a grin and then dragged a bound and gagged man into view. The man thrashed pathetically.

“Stop.” Harley hissed, “wiggling!” She smacked him on the head, hard, and the man fell slack.

“This!” Harley held up the suit-clad man up and then let go. He pitched forward and smacked face first onto the ground. “Whoops!”

Pam approached the body slowly and nudged it with the toe of her heel.

“Thanks, peanut.” Pam pulled Harley in by her collar and planted a kiss on her. Harley giggled and pulled Pam into her side; Pam rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. “But… who is he?”

“Oh!” Harley gasped. She rolled him onto his back, and stared at Pam in nervous anticipation. After a beat, “Do you not recognize him?” The man gazed blankly past Pam’s, face coated with blood and nose at a strange angle.

“Am I supposed to?” Pam asked. Harley pouted.

“It’s that guy! Y’know the one who owned the pipeline. The one that broke, and killed all those cute animals.” Harley said. Pam crouched down, now that she thought about it, he did resemble Coney Payward. Small vines pushed through the cracks in the concrete floor and curled around Pam’s feet.

“Oh Daffo-doll, thank you!” Pam stood and wrapped her arms around Harley.

“Happy birthday, sweetpea!” Harley kissed her on the cheek. She had no idea how Harley knew about her birthday when even she had forgotten. “So. Whatcha gonna do?”

“Oh,” Pam says. “How about we drown him in oil. Just like he did to those poor sea turtles.” The man gurgled weakly into his gag.

“Oh, I love it.”

“And I love you, Peanut.”

**Author's Note:**

> If only I were familiar with their BTAS characterizations...
> 
> Anyways, special shoutout to Edith, my best friend, my homie, by buddy.
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://barrisscoffees.tumblr.com/)!


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